So J and I have been fighting a little bit. Or rather I'm fighting with him and he's just continuing to be a dick. We've made up, and everything's almost back to normal but I'm still hurt and whatnot.

During all this fighting I have been stressed out beyond belief. Stressed because of J, work, life. It's been wreaking havoc on my stomach, and in turn my bowels.

Yes, Splinter has sphincter problems.

Yesterday I left work and took the metro to the last stop and waited for my mother before hopping on the bus to home.

So there I am standing at this metro station where there's no bathroom and all of a sudden I start getting the bad stomach gurgling. I seriously considered walking into the huge park area and squatting behind a tree, it was so damn bad.

Mom finally arrives and I tell her my predicament. We hopped on another bus that took us up the street to the mall where I raced through Sears with clenched butt cheeks whimpering "Where's the shitter!?"

I made it. No clean up in any aisle.

And I tell you, it's hard to run with clenched butt cheeks. It should be included in anybody's daily workout schedule because it takes a lot out of you.

And now I'm feeling vulnerable.